About the Episode
Hey, Outlaws. Welcome to episode 37! Today we are going to be diving into the topic of boundaries. Now I don’t claim to be an expert in this topic, and there are some boundaries that I’m really still trying to work on because my boundaries in certain areas kind of stink and I’m going to be sharing what those boundaries are with you.
I truly believe in creating boundaries with others, we must first create them with ourselves. I want to talk about those boundaries that we need to create with ourselves and how they can compulsively impact our business, our growth, our business decisions, and the relationships that we create. Grab your Outlaw Journal and let’s explore this together.
Topics discussed in episode #37
- Why we must first create healthy boundaries with ourselves before we can create them within our business and with others
- Melanie’s Outlaw Moment: How to make strategy enjoyable while allowing ourselves plenty of creative freedom
- How we find bad habits and boundaries creeping back into our lives and businesses post-pandemic and what to do about it
- Remembering to create the division between ourselves and our business so that it promotes better boundaries and balance
- How healthy boundaries can help feed our creativity and help us hone in on what we need
- Episode 30: Ethics & Unconscious Bias in Marketing with Anyo Green
- Ali’s journaling prompts for Instagram boundaries
- Get your Outlaw Journal
- Grab your copy of The Outlaw Manifesto
Connect with Melanie here:
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey Outlaws. Welcome to episode 37. Today. We are going to be diving into the topic of boundaries. Now I don't claim it to be an expert in this topic, and there are some boundaries that I'm really still trying to work on because my boundaries in certain areas, kindness, stink, and I'm going to be sharing what those boundaries are with you. But I really want to explore this topic. Something I've been exploring on my Instagram feed. And so many of you will have really, really responded to this topic, really wanted to discuss it and explore it. And I know it keeps coming up inside of the outlook collective as well. And the ladies in there are really diving into what their own boundaries are within their personal professional lives. What the boundaries are with the online space with Instagram, with even just the status quo of online business, right?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Because I truly believe that to create boundaries with others. We must fast create those boundaries with ourselves. And that's why I want to get into specifically in today's episode. I want to talk about those boundaries that we need to create with ourselves and what that can have that compulsively impact our business, outgrowth, how it can impact our business decisions and the relationships that we create and not share within our business. So that's what we're going to be talking about specifically today, creating boundaries with ourselves and what that looks like. What does that really mean? Because I believe that when we create those boundaries with ourselves, we really truly understand what those boundaries are. We're able to create better boundaries externally with other people, with our business, with our clients, et cetera. So we're going to get into that in just a moment, but before we get into that, today's and get, before we get into today's episode, I want to talk about outlaw moments of the week.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
So I'm encouraging you for a few weeks now over the last few months to come over to Instagram, make sure you share what your outlaw moment of the week is something that we explore inside of the outlook journal. We explore inside of the outlook collective, which is my monthly membership, where we are basically a group of women doing badass things and being inspired by each other. And we explore out well moments of the week. It's kind of like, you know, in Facebook groups, you have those like weekly, check-ins like, tell me what's going well in your life. Well, like I care what's going well in your life. But I also want to know where you gave the middle finger to the status quo of online business. I want to know what your like outlaw moment is. What did you do this week to challenge the norm?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
What did you do this week? That challenged bro marketing, and how are you navigating that? Because it doesn't matter how much we continue to walk on this. It's going to come up. We can avoid bro marketing entirely, but we can create boundaries. We can do things that allow us to challenge that status quo. And it's basically our responsibility individually to ensure that we are aware of burn marketing and aware of the status quo in online business so that we can do things differently and do things better and pave a new way for those who are starting their online businesses. So my online, my online moment, my outlook moment, even my outlook moment has this has been an ongoing or moment. And you may have seen me talk about this elsewhere as well. And that is the, at the moment I refuse to do things that don't feel really aligned.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
So you've been really trying to navigate my strategy with my spirituality and self-inquiry over the last 18 months, I feel like I have either been, I've been like in one specific area, I've either been focused on my spirituality or I've been focused on strategy or all in on self-inquiry. And now I've been trying over the last few months, especially in 2021, really trying to blend the three of those. That's why we talk about all three here on the podcast. That's why we talk about them, you know, social media and within the outlook collective. I want to really build that intersection because I believe that we can have strategy with spirituality. We can have strategy with a self-inquiry self-inquiry as a practice, spirituality can look, however you want it to look. And with regards to our strategies, I'm really, really eager to learn. I keep diving into this and I'm really eager to learn more about what strategy means to us as individuals, because I feel as though strategy has once again been very weaponized, but it becomes cross.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
It's very rigid. It's like boxed in. And one of the things that has been coming up with us inside the outlook collective, we've been really exploring. This is the idea of strategy being creative strategy, being curious, strategy, being fun and joyful. And I don't think for many of us, I don't think strategy feels that way. Right. I know for myself, strategy has been very like, we're going to plan, am I going to batch, am I going to do this? I might have to do it this way. And it has to look a certain way. And the more and more I do this work, the more, you know, the more elite, more black within entrepreneurial Outlaws, the more right, the more I publish, the more I realize that I don't want to be boxed in. And I don't think I've ever really enjoyed that feeling, but it feels very controlled, right.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Having a plan, having a strategy feels great if you like to have some, and I like control, I do. I like to feel like I know what's going to happen, but that isn't real life. Right. Things happen all the time that we don't have control over. And so I've been really trying to go with the flow and let go of so much of that strategy that's in me and it bubbles up from time to time. And just recently I have found that my, my inner voice has been like, we need to do this, or we need to create this. And it kept coming up and I was like, look, okay, you want to strategize? That's cool. But let's try and find a way of doing it like joyfully. Right. Let's try and find a way of making it enjoyable. And so I've really been looking at how do I combine, you know, having some idea of where I'm going and what I'm doing in my business, because it's nice to know.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
And I think it's really nice for my team to have an idea of where we're going and what we're doing next, but at the same time, allowing myself to have enough creative freedom that if something comes up that I really want to talk about that I can deviate from the plan and talk about that as well. And that's really how I've been trying to navigate my business over the last few months, giving myself enough space within my, within my content, within my, within podcasts, within my strategy to actually slightly adjust or pivot if I want to and be able to have conversations that feel really great. So really my outlook moment is ongoing. And I feel like I keep coming up with like new ways of new I'm being curious, right? I'm using self-inquiry, I'm using the tool that I talk so much about and really being curious about what is it I need for my business?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
What is it I need from my relationships? What is it I need from my finances? What do I need from my content, from my writing every area of my life, what do I need this to feel like? And then how can I build some kind of simple strategy into that, but also, still allow myself that expensive space to pivot, adjust and be creative. So when it comes to your out low moments, check in with yourself on a regular basis, whether it's weekly or the end of each day, whether it becomes popular journaling practice, I really encourage you to check in with yourself, especially if you are really leaning into this kind of outlook, black, really leaning into what it means to be an entrepreneurial outlook and challenging the status quo of online business. Really check in with yourself on a regular basis and see where you are actively and intentionally doing this work and making sure that, you know, the work that you were doing, you're not kind of just getting caught up, going through the motions of running an online business, which happens, right?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
My hand is raised high. It happens all the time. We can get really caught up within a strategy or in a process or in a project that we kind of don't look up. And we don't realize that maybe we're falling into some old habits, or maybe we're not, we're not holding onto our boundaries, right? What are we going to talk about? Today's episode, maybe we're letting go of our boundaries. And it happens right. For me, this happened a lot in 2020, it was really easy for me to just not have any boundaries at all. And it was really easy for me to just fall into old habits and ways of doing things. And before you know, it it's just become part of your day. So check in with yourself, check in with your Outwell moment, make it part of your journaling practice and think about the ways in which you can check in with yourself and really reflect on where are you challenging? The status quo,
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Episode 37. We are talking about boundaries. Grab yourself a drink, put your habits in and I'll see you on the other side.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Okay. Let's talk, creating boundaries specifically with ourselves. Here's why this is important because to create boundaries with other people, right? To create boundaries with clients or our family or whoever we need to first create boundaries with us selves, what does that look like? And what does that mean? Well, without boundaries, there is no consistency, right? Creating boundaries is new. The new consistency, creating boundaries is the new consistency. And when we don't create those boundaries, there is no consistency because consistency is an overused word, especially in online business, especially in the online space. And one of the things I see so often is we talk about consistency in relation to Instagram, social media posting, right? We talk about consistently showing up consistently emailing your list consistently showing up on stories, whatever it is, right. I feel like it's anything to do with content creation. We talk about the fact that we need to do it consistently at the very, very foundation of us.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Sure. The reason being is because consistency means that you are telling the algorithm, Hey, I'm here to stay. I'm not just about it. Also tells your audience, Hey, I'm somebody that can be trusted, but what's happened over the last few years is that consistency has become kind of obsessive consistency has become five days a week, multiple days, multiple posts a day. It has meant, you know, there was a phase where people were posting like three or four times a day. This was like the go-to that I remember this being in the fit. When I was back in the fitness industry, maybe it was 2017, 2018. This was like the thing right. Posting multiple times per day. And I was like, surely, like, it just was baffling to me. I was like, how do you post great content multiple times a day? How do you have time?
Speaker 1 (12:14):
How are you doing anything else? Well, I just think it was one of those. I think honestly, it was one of those things where it was half truth, right? It was a half truth that wasn't, and there was nothing to back that up. I want to say there is nothing to back up that we should be posting that much. If anything, when we look at social media, you're rewarded more for your actual consistency, right? So whether that's once a week, three times a week, five times a week, choosing a consistency that you can be consistent with something that you can be consistent with on a regular basis, even when you get busy. Right. And I think that's really critical. We've talked about that before in previous episodes where we've talked to my Instagram, if we're talking specifically about social media, you need to choose something that you can do, even when you get busy.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Right? So choosing to post five times a week, but knowing that's not sustainable, that's just, what's the point, right? What is the point of choosing something that isn't sustainable? So allowing yourself to tap into your creativity, into your, you know, when you insert your inspire inspiration and really being able to create content or posts in a way that is sustainable Annabelle. And I really see, I really believe that we struggle with consistency on Instagram because we haven't created our own boundaries. Right. We struggle with consistency on Instagram because we haven't created our own boundaries. We struggle with consistency in any area of our lives, because we haven't created our own boundaries. And by creating boundaries with ourselves fast, we can create boundaries elsewhere. So truthfully my, my Instagram boundaries kind of stink. I'm working on it, it's a working progress, but I really, I struggle with those boundaries.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
And I so admire people who have really great boundaries with social media. I have, I admire people who have really great boundaries with that business. And it's something that I'm working on. And I, I I'm, I'm being curious. I'm like, why am I struggling with this? Why do I, why do I find myself in this app, mindlessly? Why is it the app that I always go to? And I often go back to the end of 20, 20. I was unwell for a couple of weeks. And during that, I, you know, I was like sleeping a lot because I was so unwell. Wow. And I was basically not on Instagram. I don't think I w I didn't, I certainly didn't post or share anything. Cause I just was not interested in doing anything, but I don't think I even opened that app for like two weeks.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
And I remember feeling really relieved. I remember this, this feeling, I don't even know how to describe it, but I remember this feeling. I don't know whether it was a feeling of like freedom, a feeling of calm or joy, but suddenly didn't sit around feeling like I really missed Instagram. And then when I went back to Instagram, a couple of weeks later, I, I felt kind of comfortable. There was this comfort, right? There was this comfort and being on the app, that was his comfort in having conversations because I absolutely love having conversations. This is like, this is something, this is like, where I get inspired. This is something that lights me up wherever, whether it's on Instagram or anywhere else. I love having conversations. So like when someone sends me a message, someone comments on a post, someone sends me an email, wherever it might be conversations with other people about what is exciting for them or what we're talking about, the podcast, whatever it might be.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
It really lights me up. I love having those conversations. I love those relationships. And I enjoy engaging with people, but I can't deny that there was a sense of relief. There was less pressure. It's like, I literally, I can't be on this app right now. I cannot physically be on this app right now. And I think that it has bothered me ever since. I think this is why I have passionately been so focused on, okay, but what are my boundaries and why do I struggle with this? And why am I on this app all the time? You know, we, for me personally, I am someone who's like, my phone is always around me and I can just suddenly be aware that I'm picked up my phone and I'm in Instagram. And I don't know why. I don't know why I'm there. I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
And I really dislike that. And I know I have full controller for it, but it feels really strange because I guess isn't enough awareness yet. There isn't enough. Self-Awareness and that's really the key, in my opinion. And again, I'm not an ex-felon crane boundaries, but for me personally, I think creating my own boundaries with myself, it comes back to self-awareness. It comes back to being able to catch myself when I am in the app, mindlessly scrolling, when I'm doing something that isn't serving a higher purpose, right. When it's actually taking me away from why should be doing in my life, right? Whether it's writing or reading or being creative, there were always better things I could be doing and then scrolling through Instagram, but it has created. And look, I'm going to be honest. The online business space has not helped this a tool. It has created this narrative that like our business begins and dies on Instagram, which is just not true, right?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Our businesses do not begin and end on Instagram. That is not where our businesses lie. This is why I believe it is important to have a place away from social media in our businesses, because it allows us to expand those boundaries and create boundaries. If we are building a business entirely on one platform, but we can't have boundaries because it's the only place we exist. So I think is important to have space outside of Instagram, but you get to decide what that is. And I just, I believe that without those boundaries that cannot be any consistency. And I think if we have better boundaries with ourselves, right, if we can build those boundaries with ourselves, we can then create those boundaries within our business. We can create those boundaries with Instagram email, whatever it might be. And we can then be genuinely be consistent without worrying that we're going to offend somebody for not replying within 20 minutes.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Right. And one of the things I, when I was preparing for this episode, I thought about email marketing or my email inbox in itself because I have pretty good boundaries with my email inbox, but that was something that I had to create. That was something that I did a number of years ago. I just decided that my inbox was not that important. And my inbox was not going to be where a life or death situation was going to happen. And so I put things in place, you know, I made sure that had certain things in place so that if I wasn't checking my inbox enough, or as much as I used to people were still taking care of. And that has continued to be the case. Not that my inbox is like this crazy busy place of traffic, but you know, when it is there's boundaries there, I've created those boundaries myself.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
And I started to think about this in relation to Instagram. I don't want to take away the humanized part of Instagram, but it's the pie I really enjoy. But I think social media and online space and an all this tech that we have witnessed over the last decade, I guess, has created this situation where we are impatient. I remember we discussed this with ano back in her episode, which I think is episode that I think it's episode 30. But back in that episode, we talked about this and she touched on the fact that she felt they marketing online had changed during COVID. And I agree, but I feel like as we have started to see things open up and as people have started to feel like COVID, I mean, COVID is still very much a part of my life, but I think as things have started to shift and then as things have started to make progress, I feel like old habits have come back in and there is this expectation and people are in a rush.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
And I think that slowness and that slow that patients and the slow business and the, and the slow response that we kind of accepted as Paul, all of 2020 people have started to become less tolerant of that again. And that's a real shame because I think it's so wonderful if we can embrace being patient, if we can embrace slowing down and breathing and kind of gathering information, just not just within online space, but just generally in our lives, we can slow down. I always remember, I think it was on Ms. Bernay brown. I think she was on Oprah's podcast and they were talking about calm people. And we're nice says that calm people breathe. She was like, they breathe. They, they slow down and they, and they will say to themselves, do I have all the facts before I freak out? And this is something that over the years I've always held on to, because I didn't use to be a very calm possum.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
I'm much better than I used to be. You know, I was definitely reactive and I would definitely my business, my God, like I would react and overreact at everything. And I'm just don't have the energy for that anymore. And I think being able to gather the facts and slow down and create those boundaries with myself has helped me to become a better leader about so human being, you know, I'm, I'm much nicer person to live with because whatever happens in my business, it's not going to be the end of the world. It's not going to cause my business to crumble. And even if it was, and I don't really know what would happen to cause that, but then, you know, I have to accept and I have to acknowledge the pie I play in that. And I think that this is where those boundaries are so important with ourselves, understanding what we need.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Right. I have talked about this before on the show and I just, I believe understanding what we need as human beings personally and professionally, it's a game changer. It, the difference because we walk around a week, we go through the motions of building and growing this business and look, we all do it. No matter what stage you were in in your business, you have probably found yourself, especially in the early days you're learning and you're learning and you're absorbing all of this information and you are probably start to go through the motions of launching, or you go through the motions of creating content. And maybe you go through the motions of, you know, batching content or having like a really great strategy or plan. But you, you start to neglect what you need, right. It starts to become about other people. It becomes about your coach, or it becomes the person on Instagram, or it becomes about your clients.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
And we start to neglect ourselves. And this was something I discovered in 2020, I realized how much I was neglecting my self. I was neglecting my family. I was neglecting my mental health because I was just blasting through saying yes to everything. And I really believe, I really believe that 2020 was a plot twist. His and I don't mean, I don't mean COVID. I mean, my life personally and the experiences that I, the things I experienced within my business in 2020, it was a plot twist because at the time I was like, this is what I've always wanted. This is everything I've wished for. I'm finally feeling like I've got those things in place. Everything is growing the speed at which it grew was really scary at times, but it was moving so fast. I didn't really have time to breathe those things. So I just kept going.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
I learnt so much, it has been an incredible experience over the last 12 months to learn from other people, create new relationships, build a team, and then kind of almost going, okay, you know what? This was great, but we need to slow down. And at the time I felt like this was it right. As I went through that experience a year ago, I was like, this is it. This is what I've always wanted. And that was why I kept holding onto. Now, when I look back a year later, I'm like, oh, that wasn't it. That was me getting the things I thought I wanted. So the, I could realize perhaps that isn't how I want to live my life. And it was a plot twist. In my biggest story, it was not like the final chapter. And I realized this because of the lack of boundaries, boundaries have always been really important to me.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
And these are boundaries I create with myself is a boundaries I create within my pastoral life. These are not boundaries that I use to kind of put myself on a pedestal or remove myself from situations. I believe that we do need to have really great boundaries with our clients, with our work. We need to create boundaries between, you know, out our work and our energy and aligning those things. But I think what we can start to see is when we let those boundaries slip with us selves, we let them slip out sweat, right? So when we don't have boundaries with ourselves, we're not sleeping. We're not eating properly. We're not resting. We're not slowing down. We're not saying no, we're not asking for help all these things that we can be doing to help create better boundaries when we're not doing those with ourselves. Well, we're not doing them with clients, right?
Speaker 1 (27:24):
So we're not asking for help. We're not slowing down or we're not saying no. And then our clients are maybe expecting more from us. Our clients are expecting, you know, us to be able to do that same amount of work or now more work and do it faster, or they want us to do, they want to add more to a contract without paying war. There's all these kinds of ways in which the subtle ways in which our clients or our customers or our businesses can kind of challenge our boundaries. And if we haven't created them with ourselves first, we're going to let those things happen. And what can often happen is we suddenly wake up like six months later and we're like, what the hell happened here? Like, why am I doing all this? Why, why am I this isn't part of the contract or this isn't part of the agreement, or, you know, we find ourselves in a situation where maybe a client is expecting us to respond.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Like immediately always be in slack, always be on Voxer because we haven't created those boundaries. Really good example of this. I remember a friend of mine who is a photographer. I remember her talking about her own business and she would get an email, like, I don't know, five to five on a weekday. And it would be an inquiry, even though she could have closed her inbox because she, her out of office or whatever it was, was on, she would respond. Or she would find herself responding to an email at 10 or 11 o'clock at night. And I always remember her saying to me, well, you know, the problem is I've done this once and now this person expects it. They now expect me to respond at 11:00 PM at 7:00 AM or whatever time the boundary, like I've created this situation where I've said, I'm always available.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
So you can, there's no boundaries. Like you can just message me and I'll respond to whatever time once we do that. It feels, especially if you're an empath, highly sensitive person. And especially if you are a people pleaser or perfectionist, you can find it really to go back on that boundary, right? Because as people pleases, we don't want to break that relationship. We want to, we don't want to let someone down when all we're actually doing is saying, Hey, you know what? I, I kind of created this boundary and it's crappy and I shouldn't have done it. And again, I think this is one of the things that we hope to, to really see, become a part of everyday life from the experience of the last 12 months is that people would honor each other's boundaries and that people would respect each other's boundaries. But, you know, I think time will tell what that one and the online space.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
I think it's our responsibility as business owners, as content creators, as individuals to create our own boundaries by knowing what we need and to check in with ourselves, reflect all we still do. We still need the same things because what we need each season of our lives can change and evolve. And how do our boundaries reflect that? And I really think that creating boundaries is not this like one and done thing, right? There's going to be some boundaries that we need at Sun-Times, right? Maybe there's a boundary that you need in the winter that you don't need in the summer. Maybe the boundaries look different. For example, one of the boundaries I created this summer was, you know what, we're going to slow down. The amount of episodes you put out of the podcast. That was really hard decision for me, really hard. I don't make decisions like that for myself very often.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
But knowing that this summer we can actually do things that we can actually get a house knowing that I wanted to be able to spend some time, you know, in my garden, I wanted to spend time maybe at the beach or going out with my, my kid and my family, knowing that I can actually do things compared to last year, or we could do nothing. I don't really care. But knowing that there's that opportunity, I knew I didn't want to be working all summer because last year I had no boundaries and that was all I did. But making that decision felt really hard because I don't typically do that for myself. And so that was a really big moment. And my coach said to me, you know, why did you decide to go down to couple of episodes per month? The podcast? And I said, because I don't create boundaries like that with myself.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
And I didn't like it because I was like, that's not very outlaw. And she's like, but is it the truth was like, yeah, it really is. It's the truth. I make decisions often in like old Melanie makes decisions based on, okay, what does it need to look like? What do people need? What do people need from me? I make, I put everyone else before me, but this is something that we can create and explore is going okay, actually, what do I need? Right. And I was like, I want some time off. I want to record my podcast episode to the summer ahead of time. So that during the summer I can be planning for the full, I can be planning for all fast birthday. Those are boundaries. Those are the things that we can create for ourselves. So whatever that looks like for you and your business, you can create those right.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Deciding I've already decided that I'm going to take some time off in December and January a time where there's so much pressure for us to like launch black Friday offers, do this, have a new year, offer all this stuff. And I'm just like, yeah, I don't really want to do that. That's not really my thing. And that's okay. And we have to remember that it's okay. Right? These are our outlaw moments, remembering that it's okay to create those boundaries because that's what we need as individuals. And I wish we would talk about this more in online business, because I'm so sick and tired of these narratives where it's like one thing, one offer one that one marketing tool, one strategy, everything is one size fits all. And the problem is that one size does not fit all. And I know that so many of us are feeling frustrated by that, right?
Speaker 1 (33:44):
With frustrated by the idea that we have to fit in all the, you know, our strategies have to be 10 point checklists rather than like, what lights you up? What do you want to do? Right. My only strategy right now is to do what the I like. And I think that we can really honor that within ourselves, right? It can be, it can be really freeing to approach our business from a place of intuition, Pershing our business from a place of alignment, what lights you up right on a soul level. This is something that when we have new members joined the outlook collective, we don't have a conversation of like, what do you do? Where do you live? We hit. Cause that will come up. Right? That will inevitably come up. Well, I want to know is like, what inspires you? What makes you feel creative?
Speaker 1 (34:37):
What lights you up? What sets your soul on fire? Because that stuff is really important. That's the stuff that we need to be tapping into more and more. And it's so important as we create our boundaries to understand what we need possibly professionally, to understand what all soul work is, to understand where our spirituality lies. What do we need to be doing on a regular basis to kind of check in with ourselves, check in with ourselves and feel creative and feel inspired so that we can be the best version of ourselves just as a business owner, because that is just one identity that I have. It's not my own lane. It's not your only identity, but how can we become better human beings? How can we become more self-aware human beings and do this through creating those boundaries? Because when we create those boundaries with ourselves, as I said, at the very beginning of this week, then can create those boundaries elsewhere. Because I guarantee if you look back any time where you've had a boundary kind of lapse with a client or a family member who ever it might be, it's because you've let it lapse with yourself fast.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
So sure. We need to
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Market our businesses. We need to make money. We need to know all these, you know, yes, we need to do these things, but the way you choose to do them, it doesn't have to look like everyone. Else's, you can afford your own path. You can create your boundaries based on what you need. And then you can decide how you're going to do it. Then you can decide what that looks like because boundaries feed your creativity, right? Boundaries, feed your creativity. When you have, when you've created a boundary, somewhere in your life or in your business, it gives you more expansiveness elsewhere, right? It's the same concept. As when you say no to something, you're leaving space. Being able to say yes to something else, or maybe you just don't want to do it. And you don't want to say yes to anything else. And that's okay too.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
But really being able to create those boundaries with ourselves feeds our creativity inspires us, and it helps us to be more consistent or just be consistent. I don't know if you can be more consistent, but just to be consistent, right? If we have better boundaries, we can be consistent. We no longer kind of on this rollercoaster of this roller coaster experience. So on social media, we're no longer going from, I hate this social media stuff to, I need to be here five times a week. Like we can kind of hone in on what we need, create the boundaries and build from that. And I think that's such a wonderful foundation, right? I think that's such a wonderful foundation that we can build from. And so over the summer, you know, I really urge you and encourage you. We'll continue to have this conversation on social media as well.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Funnily enough. And on my email list, if you don't want my email list will continue to have this conversation there, make sure you go and grab the outlaw amount of Festo from the show notes. And we will continue this conversation and explore what it looks like to create boundaries with ourselves so that we can actually then build more aligned businesses, right? We can build businesses that are aligned with what we need and without boundaries and, you know, understanding what that looks like for you, your unique gifts, your strengths, and what inspires you is critical for longevity as a creative business owner. So yeah, I encourage you to explore what your boundaries are and really check in with yourself. Spend some time John willing on this. Like where are my boundaries slipping? You know, all my boundaries have I let my boundaries slip and is this creating some kind of effect elsewhere with clients, with my emotions, with my social media and my friend and a former guest on the show, Allie, I'm going to link to this post.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
But she recently at the time of recording this, put out a post and it was some journaling prompts specifically around Instagram and boundaries around Instagram. And I, these was so interesting because they were interesting because did they challenge me? I was like, I don't like this. So I need to go and answer them right now. But she really, really challenged us to think about Instagram as a whole, like, why are we afraid to leave? Why are we afraid to take a step back? And I really, really appreciated that conversation because I suddenly needed it. So I'm going to link to that in the show notes as well. But yeah, really stepping back and looking at what those boundaries are. And I think this is an important conversation to have. Now, if you're listening to this in real time, because what this means, you know, I think by the time we get to September and it's always like this with time, we gets to September, we're going to be diving into launch season.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
You know, everyone's going to be launching in September. There's going to be all these conversations about like final quarter, like finish strong. That's going to be what we see online. We see it every year. This year will be no different. It was no different last year, which was really strange. So use this time over the summer to figure out what those boundaries are, figure out what you need from your business. And if you want to dive deeper into this, you can grab a copy of the outlook channel. There is a link in the show notes. You can go to melody nights.com forward slash outlook journal. And you can learn more about the journal there and also go straight to Amazon to buy a copy of the journal. But inside of this guided journal, we really focus on needs. In fact, you know, the second section in the journal is entirely focused on that.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
And I would really encourage you to spend time over the summer. If you felt like your boundaries have been slipping, which can happen, especially when we get busy, really check in with yourself, do some of that in a work, tap into your intuition, figure out what you need from your business, create those boundaries. And that will set you up for a much better and of 2021 in your business. Thus is continuing in, maybe in a path that's going to lead to burnout or gonna just lead you to really resenting your clients. So your business we've all been there, right? We've all been there. So yeah, understanding our boundaries and creating those helps us to be consistent in our business, helps us to build that consistency.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Take a deep breath, let it out. Thank you for joining me for episode, that is seven as always. We will be continuing this conversation over on our Instagram feed. And the handle flat is at entrepreneurial under school Outlaws. If you're not following us over on Instagram, make sure you come and check it out because we break down every episode each week and over the summer, I am adding more content. I'm going to be sharing more and more about the owl channel. Also the outlook collective and sharing with you, why I'm working on cause I'm currently working on the second book. So it makes you join us on Instagram. So you don't miss any of that content and make sure you subscribe to the podcast. Because over the summer we are embracing our boundaries here on entrepreneur Outlaws. And we're putting out two episodes a month.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
So make sure you subscribe so that each month or each yeah, each month when we release new episodes, you will be notified. They will be downloaded straight to your app and make sure that you come and say hello. And as I said, if you want to jump onto my email list, if you don't love Instagram, if you're trying to take a break from Instagram, come and jump onto the jump onto the internet, right? Slow down, Melanie, jump onto my email list, go to go to the show notes, sign up for outlawed manifesto. That is where you will find all of the values and what it means to be an entrepreneur outlook. And it will also put you automatic clumsy email lists. So every single time we release a new episode of the podcast, you will get an email. And I also send out a weekly kind of storytelling, thoughtful email, where we really just talk about business and we come at it from the point of view of what's happening. That's my, that's my expansive space where I can just write what I want versus it feeling like it has to look assigned way, because that was one of the things I hated about EMA boxing. So make sure you come and hang out with us in all the places. And our next episode is going to be airing in July and I will see you then, but thanks so much for joining me for today's episode. I will see you next time for episode 30 eights.