Workout woes? Hilary Glaus shares her tips on how to #makemovementnonnegotiable Ep.03

This week I had the absolute pleasure of interviewing a lady who not only is a completely badass personal trainer and fat loss coach, but I get to call her my friend. Hilary and I met back in 2016 through an online mentoring program, I’ve been so lucky to meet her in-person twice this year and we became fast friends.

Hilary owns her own business HilaryGlaus.com and she is incredibly enthusiastic about fitness, in fact she’s a ‘Healthusiast’ which she explains more about during our interview.

I wanted to pick Hilary’s brains about fitness, and strength training in particular because there is absolutely no denying that she is one strong lady! At the time of our interview she was hosting a 5-day video training called #makemovementnonnegotiable because most of us don’t right?

We want to, we have every intention of getting those workouts done, and then life happens and we become distracted.

Hilary shares that one of the most common questions she gets asked is:

“How can I stay motivated to exercise?”

She explains that many women will start a workout program, and then get derailed some how. The biggest factor being our own excuses, we have A LOT of excuses as to why we can’t keep exercising and she wanted to open up this conversation and let women know:

“…there’s not something wrong with you that you can’t make exercise a habit. You’re not defective or deficient…there’s nothing wrong with you, it’s that you don’t have the tools which you need to overcome these excuses.”

I asked Hilary about why it is that we seem to overcomplicate things, and she explained “consume mode” to me:

“…consume mode is the mode we are often in when we first discover fitness, when we want to change our life, improve our health and live a healthier lifestyle. We’re super motivated and we start reading and consuming information, as a result we end up in ‘information overload mode’.”

She explains why this is a problem:

We consume so much that we don't take action, when we don't take action, we can't get results Click To Tweet

We both agree that we want you to take action, and get results and sometimes this means we ONLY pick one or two people to follow. Choose people who fit into your values and lifestyle, and don’t let all this information consume your life.

I asked Hilary about perfection, because whilst my motto is #effperfect are there certain things we should be doing? I absolutely loved her answer:

“…assuming that you just want the simplest route to improving overall body composition, you want to lose fat, you want to add a little bit of lean muscle, improve your metabolism. There are exercises which are more effective to achieve that goal.”

Ladies, does this not sound like most of society? Heck, just because I have a qualification, it doesn’t mean I’m trying to be the leanest or strongest. I just want to feel amazing in my skin and look good naked…which by the way Hilary believes is something we all want ūüėČ

Hilary explained that these movements are compound movements, which are multi-joint movements. They use more than one joint, and ideally you want to use full body movements such as:

  • Alternating Reverse Lunge with Overhead Press
  • Plank Renegade Rows
  • Squat Hammer Curl

As Hilary explains, these movements are simple but they are NOT easy. I’ve been working on Hilary’s strength program #definedbydesign and her workouts are hard work, but oh so effective!

Check out this short video in which I’m showing you each of these movements:

The Big C of fitness…well actually this word needs to be applied to EVERY aspect of your health:

Consistency trumps perfection, but only 100% of the time. Click To Tweet

As Hilary explains we often look for the perfect set of circumstances to implement healthier habits. We are waiting for the perfect timing, but this is keeping us from making progress towards our fitness and lifestyle goals.

Hilary shares a tip she gives her clients: find something you can do 80% of the time.

You guys, that’s just 5 days out of 7.

If you are being consistent, and getting your workouts and healthy lifestyle implemented 80% of the time then the remaining 20% is wiggle room. You don’t need to be focused on the 100%.

Hilary’s top 3 tips for consistency:

  1. Simplify and Constrain – be ruthless and rigorous by getting rid of the information you don’t really enjoy. Out of consume mode and into action mode.
  2. Self Negotiation – use this when you are lacking motivation. Negotiate with yourself – “if you workout, then you can watch a show on netflix”
  3. Accountability and Support – find support and accountability in real life or online groups like Lose.Live.Learn and The Healthusiastic Life ūüėČ You’ll be more consistent when you have people waiting on you.

So, just in case you still need any more reasons to pick up those dumb bells and get lifting, Hilary shared how exercise, specifically lifting weights helped her through a really difficult time in her life.

“It completely changed my life, it was a gradual change, but I was no longer afraid to address some of the things which were not working for me. In 2011 I started strength training, I’d graduated college and taken a couple of years off, got into Grad School but after a year of the program I hated it. This destroyed my confidence, but the only thing which got me through was¬†exercise. Strength training helped me develop the confidence to step away from that.”

To watch the full interview and hear all of Hilary’s story click here.

So, if you loved what Hilary had to say about fitness and you’d like her to be one of the people you follow on social media, make sure you check her out and go say hi:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

The Healthusiastic Life with Hilary

PLUS you can grab your copy of Hilary’s guide to designing an EFFECTIVE TOTAL BODY workout – one of the 3 E’s!¬†She takes you through which exercises are going to give you the most bang for your buck and how to create your own simple circuit so that you can feel confident when you pick up those weights!

Get #StartWithSix here!

Should you really give zero f*cks? Ep.02

 

In today’s episode I’m diving into why I believe that the zero f*cks given mindset is not for everyone. We see it everywhere and whilst I’m certainly partial to a ‘double-tap’ on Instagram, I also know that this is mindset sooooo many women strive for.

We associate ‘zero f*cks’ with confidence, and in 2017 far too many women feel like they aren’t enough, as wives, mothers, business owners — we feel so unworthy. With reality TV and social media fame, it can easily create this sense of inadequacy, like if we’re not all striving for this ‘perfect’ showreel well then we don’t get to be happy, loved, satisfied.

Whilst ‘zero f*cks’ can feel empowering, it’s not providing the confidence boost women are looking for. Do you really want to not care?

Zero f*cks given is not the same as confident.

Confidence is not something we either have or don’t have, it is a taught behaviour. If you’re an introvert like me, then you’ve likely sit back and allow others to talk, show up and take control of a situation. You’ve probably watched, assessed and only stepped out when you feel 100% comfortable and ready.

This is not a lack of confidence, but rather your perception of any given situation. When we are confronted with a situation which we associate to anxiety, vulnerability, shame, fear — basically when we are out of our comfort zones — our biggest fears are being validate, by our own story’s and beliefs.

So, it is not about giving zero f*cks, but instead giving the right ones to right causes. The things we truly feel passionate about, the situations which align with our core values — this is where our time, energy and f*cks should be given.

If something is not aligned with my core values, then I’m not going to do it. If someone says something which goes against my belief system, I will stand up for myself, I’m no longer afraid to be visible.

Visibility = Vulnerability, and we are petrified to be seen. Click To Tweet

In the book ‘The life changing magic of not giving a f*ck” Sarah Knight helps you to declutter your f*cks. It’s an awesome read, it really helped me when working in my 9-5 made me want to scream. Every.Single.Day. Sarah takes you through organising and decluttering your f*ck barn, so that you can decide:

a] What am I going to give a f*ck to

b] Which f*cks do I need to let go of

Example: I gave a f*ck about my 9-5 job because it paid my bills and served a purpose, I did not give a f*ck about a promotion as it was not my passion or dream. I stopped trying to work so hard to look for the good, or continually trying to find my escape route. I gave more f*cks about my passion and planned escape route…and here we are…

When I lived in the ‘zero f*cks given’ mindset I felt like a fraud, because I did give a f*ck, I’m the kind of person who often cares too much and fights really hard for people or situations.

Nowadays, because I’m giving the right f*cks, I’m living in my truth. I’m showing up as Melanie, and this is how I started to let go of perfection.

#EffPerfect is not #zerofucksgiven, it is about ending the desire to achieve a perfect showreel.

I used to be ‘all or nothing’ girl, but when I became tired of acting and pretending I decided to just go all in on me, discover who I am and create a healthy lifestyle which feels practical, doable and represents me.

Do your daily/weekly actions represent the life you want to live? If not then try applying these three strategies:

#1 – What are you core values?

Write this down. It doesn’t need to be publication quality, don’t focus on the perfection of this exercise, instead write down the words which come to mind. What do you feel passionate about? What do you stand up for? What gets you fired up?

#2 – List your goals/intentions.

What are you trying to achieve right now? Maybe you’re trying to implement movement, healthy eating, relaxation or perhaps you’re going for a promotion at work or want to quit the 9-5 and build your own business.

Are you struggling to achieve/implement these things?

#3 – What’s missing between your values and goals?

Are you looking for a promotion because it pays, when in reality you want more time back? Are you focused on completely overhauling your diet, rather than just adjusting one thing to get started? Are you overwhelmed by your goals?

Are you trying to overachieve?

Wherever you are struggling, please know that people are willing to help you. Asking for helps shows true vulnerability, and willingness to learn. I used to think I could do everything on my own, I wasn’t prepared to invest my own money because ‘what if’

What if I fail?

What if it’s a mistake?

What if’s are not going to take you in the right direction, only action will move you forward. I believe that every person or situation I meet teaches me something, even if I feel incredibly fearful in the moment, or if the person is not aligned with my core values — it’s still a learning curve.

It's not their job to like me, it's my job to like me. Click To Tweet

I leave you with this thought:

Your lack in confidence will not be solved by giving zero fucks, and it is not an inability to show up. First, you must practice showing up.

 

 

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Lose.Live.Learn is about so much more than weight loss, it doesn’t have a weight, a number or a label — it’s allows women to have a voice, and share their struggles.

It’s a community of women who no longer feel alone.

Join in the conversation on Facebook and head over to Lose.Live.Learn — we can’t wait to connect with you.

 

Seventy.

Today would have been my dads seventieth birthday, s-e-v-e-n-t-y, the BIG 7-0. My understanding is that it’s not as big as 60 or 80, at least when it comes to celebrations, but still I think it’s a big birthday.

I find it strange how once we hit 30 we tend to only celebrate the decades, the years in between flutter [or fly] by without any big cause for celebration. It’s like society has decided you should only celebrate the birthdays it has decided are kind of a big deal.

Even if he were still here, and we were celebrating today I really don’t know what we’d be doing. Quite honestly I try not to think in ‘what if’s because a ‘what if’ means my present life would likely not be the same.

I reflected today, and I realised that he had two very clear traditions for his birthdays:

1] Never work on your birthday
2] Chocolate cake and coffee at 6am

…yes I 100% take after him…

You see I don’t remember ever doing anything big or special for his birthdays, except for when he turned 50. My memory may not be exact, but we had a big all-day celebration, for some reason it was a joint party with family friends who were getting married that September. We had gazebos running down our lawn, a BBQ and I seem to remember it was daytime aka the older folks during the day ūüėČ and the younger friends in the evening.

I was 10 so I don’t remember all the details, but right now I think was a very odd party to host…

The other amazing part of that year, 1997, was our first trip to New York City. It was my mums gift to my dad, we went in the October half term and that trip was the start of what has become a love affair with this city. The same city I got married in on the 11th August just six years ago.

I should point out that I have zero clue where this blog is going, maybe it won’t be published or shared, but I’ve spent most of today feeling very emotional.

I forgot.

In the chaos of travelling to London with Greyson today, I forgot that it was the 5th August, and it didn’t even occur to me until 11am this morning that my dad would have been seventy.

For the first time in 14 years I forgot.

Initially I felt guilt and shame, these two f*ckers like to show up on a regular basis, and then I took a moment — privately in the solitude of a toilet cubicle because #momming and I realised that I do not need to feel shame or guilt.

I’ve been waiting for this moment, the transition from living in my past to moving forward, never forgetting, but letting go of what cannot be changed.

This year I’ve been working on rewriting my story, and I feel like I’m in a great position with many of previous mindset blocks, but my dads passing still held onto me with all it’s force. Or rather I held onto it. Perhaps for this very fear, fear of forgetting, but when I recently did a forgiveness mediation, I couldn’t picture him.

During this mediation I felt conflicted, I don’t need to forgive him, sure he wasn’t perfect but I refuse to see him in any other way. And then I realised that I needed to forgive myself.

The realisation that I am angry at myself has propelled me forward, and now I need to process this and work on it.

Today was fucking tough though. I was already anxious going to London with Greyson, and it was actually okay, until I remembered…seventy.

My kid, he’s incredible. I love him to bits, more than any words can explain — but being a mum doesn’t come naturally to me. I know all mothers struggle, but I’m not a caregiver at my core. I know that Greyson picks up on my emotions, and so today there were many tears. He cried over the smallest things, and as I heard myself ask him in frustration “Why are you crying?” I realised that this was a horrible question, and that the answer was fucking obvious.

I’m sad.

So this evening, when he stopped crying about the fact his cheeks were wet from his own tears [yes this was a real thing] and fell asleep in the car. I quietly sat in back of the car in amongst my shame and guilt, wallowing in my vulnerability.

The tears came, they continued for what felt like hours. The kind which make your throat hurt, and I started forgiving myself. I started with the most recent situations, because I’ve got a lot to work through, and I was able to string together an entire series of events which I didn’t even quite realise had happened.

I’m not going to get into the messy details of my forgiveness, that’s a blog for another time.

I’m not writing this because I want sympathy or feedback, what I want is for you to know that in those moments when you feel like you need to sit down, and cry, and just feel the pain in your body. It’s okay. You are not weird, it’s not hormones, and it’s not crazy.

It’s honest, real and a process of authenticity with yourself.

 

How to ACTUALLY lose “armpit fat”

As I scrolled through Pinterest innocently looking for inspirational quotes and affirmations to share, I noticed how every other image was “belly fat begone” or “get-that-sexy-ass-he-wants-you-to-have workout”.

Enough. 

I finally figured out how to remove these images, and I was a little saddened that it meant removing the topic “health and fitness”, the exact industry I work in. Except I work on the other side of it, waaaaaaaay over the side. On the side which empowers women and allows them to choose how they live their lives.

No sooner had I removed this topic, I was being shown these pins as suggestions. Frustrated but willing to accept the Pinterest algorithm I continued scrolling…and then there was this.

Armpit fat image for blog

Armpit fat. 

Let me start by saying, I get it, because I’ve been there.

For most of my teens and twenties I covered my arms up in cardigans, long sleeves and the oh so fashionable ‘bolero’. I’ve spent more summers sweating because I felt the need to hide my arms and “armpit fat”, so yes I get it and I understand why this a thing.

What I can now see, is that women are picking their bodies apart on a daily basis because of shit like this on social media!

Social meda: a weapon of mass destruction against our self esteem. Click To Tweet

When I grew up, social media didn’t exist. My self esteem was instead bashed to pieces by magazines and television shows. Magazines which only depicted one type of girl and provided what I now know to be somewhat scary sex tips. Shows like Sweet Valley High and Saved by The Bell, my young brain absorbed these images, these young men and women. My real life was never going to be this glamorous and I stopped being able to differentiate between real life and TV life.

By the time I hit my teens I’d mentally noted down exactly where I fit in amongst this social ‘norm’ of beautiful people — I didn’t.

My friends seemed to understand being a teenager more so than me. They knew where to shop, they knew how to act, even at that young age I thought the whole thing was pretty exhausting – but I played along.

Until I got tired. Each year of high school I had a new group of friends, I thought I was faulty and disliked, but I wasn’t showing up authentically. I was constantly playing a role to be someone else’s friend, and let me tell you I was good at this. Seriously, I’m surprised I didn’t try out for drama class.¬†Inevitably, I grew tired of the charade and moved along.

So, yes I do truly understand why it is that we are searching for “armpit fat workout” on Pinterest, but what I want you to know is that it’s bullshit. The workout provided with this image isn’t “bad” in fact it’s a resistance workout which I love, but it will not in any way shape or form reduce your armpit fat.

If the person who posted this knows their stuff, then they are doing women a disservice.

“Armpit fat” is not a condition, it’s not a disease or something you can fix. All women, unless training for incredible levels of lean, will have this. It will show up differently on each person, and in some outfits it will be more visible.

This does not dictate your self-worth and it is not something we should be measuring our success against.

If you are struggling to implement compassion, and see yourself in a positive way, this is okay. It’s not something that comes easily because we are not taught to have compassion.

We are taught to blame our body. We are taught to say “he doesn’t like me because I have stretch marks” or “I haven’t got any friends because I’m not a size…”

My body is not for picking apart. It is not someone else's measuring tape of success. Click To Tweet

Yesterday, after getting fired up by “armpit-fat-gate” as it shall now be known, I recorded a quick video. It received some great traction over on Facebook, and if you’ve ever felt like your body just cannot conform. Like no matter how hard you try, nothing works, then I encourage you to watch this video:

 

If you too feel fired up, please join me on Instagram and share the hashtag #myarmpitsmyrules – xo Melanie xo

Untitled design.png

 

What does Lose.Live.Learn mean to me? Ep.01

This is your show, I’ll help you to uncover, create and live in your healthiest lifestyle and body without the feelings of shame and guilt, because I know that putting yourself first can feel self indulgent.

I truly believe that our health is not a balancing act…because this often leads to ‘all or nothing’. Instead it is about harmony, each area of our health working together, a mindful and open approach to choosing how you live your life.

 

LLL_Blog_Meals + Mindset + Movement

 

Ahhhh I’m so excited to finally launch my brand new weekly segment;¬†Lose.Live.Learn!! These three words have encompassed not just my coaching but also my entire lifestyle for almost two years, and yet I’ve never really explained what they mean to me.

In this very first episode *happy dance* I break down for you what Lose.Live.Learn means to me, and also the beautiful words from two ladies in the Lose.Live.Learn community on Facebook.

Enjoy the video!

 

 

Show Notes:

0.41 – The history of Lose.Live.Learn

1.14 – Lose.Live.Learn means…

2.23 – Why I feel my healthiest right now

4.25 – Why the ‘I have a thin person inside’ idea is flawed

6.31 – The missing piece of the ‘healthy’ lifestyle

7.07 – The inner dialogue we don’t share

8.30 – How the Lose.Live.Learn community is helping women

9.52 – What other women are saying about Lose.Live.Learn

 

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Lose.Live.Learn is about so much more than weight loss, it doesn’t have a weight, a number or a label — it’s allows women to have a voice, and share their struggles.
It’s a¬†community of women who no longer feel alone.¬†Join in the conversation on Facebook and head over to Lose.Live.Learn — we can’t wait to connect with you.