All The Goals I Didn’t Achieve This Year

(00:08):

Hey friends, welcome to episode number 13 of Entrepreneurial Outlaws. Let me say happy holidays to all of you. Thank you so much for being on this journey with me this year. Really appreciate it. We made it to December and today's episode is going to be kind of fun. I think I hope it's going to be fun. We're going to go through all of the goals I didn't achieve in 2020, because well, this is the season of goal setting, new year's resolutions, planning out all the big glorious things we're going to do next year. I'm actually taking my time with this. I definitely have energy and feelings that I'm carrying into 2021. I have my words that I'm going to be carrying into 2021, but I really want to look back. I know when I was supposed to write when I was supposed to look back, but I want to look back.

(01:08):

I want to look at what I labeled last December as my big 2020 plans, which just makes me laugh because I didn't, I was so naive apparently, but I had big plans. I had a lot of big things I wanted to do this year. Spoiler alert. A lot of these didn't happen for various reasons, but one of them being very obvious and I want to go through all of them and I want to talk about each one individually. And some of them are going to be very simple. Like, Hey, I couldn't fly. But some of them are going to be a little bit more in depth. So this is going to be a fun episode. And then next week, next week, we're going to talk about goal setting or as I'm calling it, the big scary shit that I'm going to do in 2021. Cause I think that's more fun. So let's get into it. Okay.

(02:19):

Okay. So I'm looking at this list in my journal as died. This journal, I want to say summer of 2019, and it's probably the most consistent I've ever been with writing anything down. And it's kind of fun because the last part of this journal documents my business growth in 2020, but I've found the page where I mapped out these big 2020 plans that I had. And yeah, let's, let's look at them. So fast one is lung the guitar. So, okay. A year ago it was the beginning of December, 2019. I actually reached out to a music tutor, Hitachi UTA in Nashville because I had this idea. I was like, if I'm going to learn the guitar, I'm 33. I was 32 at the time, but I'm 33. And if I'm going to learn guitar at this stage and it's purely out fun and enjoyment because I love music.

(03:19):

I'm handheld loud, the music I want to learn. And I eventually came across a company in Nashville, Tennessee, who do online lessons and they actually lead with the fact that they want to teach you what you listened to. So it's even on their website. Right? I will link to them in the show notes for those of you who are interested. And I reached out to them and they came back to me and then I didn't do anything with it. It has been an entire year. I did nothing with it. But a couple of weeks ago I reached back out to them to see if they were still able to facilitate lessons and they are. And so we're on our way. It took a year, but we're on our way to learning guitar. So technically it's still 2020. So what actually do the cheapest?

(04:16):

I actually technically achieved it. I just haven't learned anything yet. And I actually bought a guitar back in January. So it's my birthday at the end of January 25th, put on your calendars. And so my birthday was pre quarantine and locked down. And that day it feels like that was like the last thing I did before lockdown. It wasn't, but it feels like it was. And I think part of that reason was because it was such a nice day. I had brunch with my parents and I actually went to some music show music stores to look at guitars. And I was looking at these like beautiful guitars and some of them were incredibly expensive and I was just like, this feels kind of silly. I don't even know how to play. I don't, I don't know any, I don't know I could hold it. That's about all I can do.

(05:13):

And I just enjoyed being in the, in the, in the store and looking at them and there was some people looking and playing guitar and it was just really lovely. And as we walked back through the city to go and get some coffee, there was this, well, there is this church and it's in this part of the city. That's really, so I live, so I'm saying the city, the city is called Norridge in the East of England and there's this church and it's really kind of cool eclectic side of the city. There's a lot of independent shops there. And I'd never noticed, I knew the church was that, but I'd never noticed it. And what I had noticed was the outside. They had a sign that they had like vintage, they had a vintage stools or market inside. And I was like, let's just come in here.

(06:11):

So we walked in and as we walked through, it was this huge church, huge church. And it was just full of stuff. And it was really well laid out. It was really well presented, but it was just like, you just imagine the boss size of a church full of cloves and homeware and jewelry and records and books and just everything you can imagine, everything was secondhand, everything was vintage or thrifty. And as he walks in, you kind of hit by that smell, that like slightly musty smell that you get in in vintage markets and places. And as I walked through, there was this guitar saying that she is a, she, by the way, she was saying them and I saw her and I was like, she's my guitar. And I think I spent like 30 pounds on her and she was like super dusty.

(07:15):

And she has that kind of vintage market smell. It was later I realized off as strings and metal and hovels steel Hoffa strings, a plastic or acrylic. And yeah, but she's mine and she's beautiful. And yeah, so that was the big deal that day. I bought my guitar and she still sits in my office and I haven't picked her up in many, many months. And I'm, I'm so excited for 2021 to start these lessons and to start actually mining because I haven't played music in so many years and it's going to be really fun. So one guitar, technically we can check that one off, but I told you that was a story. Okay. The second one, the second one, it was to do a boudoir photo shoot that has not happened. I haven't even really thought about it, but it definitely hasn't happened.

(08:18):

I would still like to do that. There's something very empowering about the idea of doing that. So it's still like to do it. So if you'll know anybody in the UK who does, I mean, I could just look myself, but if anybody has any recommendations, let me know, tell me the third one was to visit Dollywood. I was on this real Dolly would kick last year. It was when Dolly's America came out. It was on a podcast. If you haven't listened to it, highly recommend. It was incredible podcasts about it's about the Lily pond, but it's about how she has transcended just general music and how people do love her across all across the globe and indifferent, indifferent lifestyles and religions, skin color like it. She just has transcended this. And funnily enough, there was a huge pot about that about the fact that she would not be political.

(09:18):

And I think we've actually seen Dolly pawn, be political a little bit, couple of times this year. So it's really interesting. 2020 surprising us all. But yeah, I really want to visit Dollywood have obviously visited. I am very keen to go to the smokey mountains and I it's it's, we'll bring it back for 2021, right. It will be on that list. Go back to Asheville. Obviously didn't happen visit Hillary in New York. So I really hope that she's listening to this. Hillary is my friend who lives in New York city and she and I met through a very fast business coach. We've been, we will online friends fast, and I went to New York for my birthday, my 30th birthday in 2017. Yeah, 2017. And we met for the first time. And honestly it was like, we just known each other our entire lives. And we've both, she's been here and I've been back there and we had plans to go and visit and be in New York in April of this year.

(10:26):

And I even actually have a little tick and it says booked, cause we booked to last Christmas and obviously it did not happen. So that'll go back on the list. Go to Toronto twice for work. Also didn't happen. I was apparently going to do a lot of travel. I don't know when I was going to do all this. It didn't happen. We're going to Toronto next August. Hopefully. yeah, we'll see. Hold my fast retreats. This, this is a big thing. This is a big deal. So I went to a business event in Asheville, in North Carolina. I always felt like when I say Ash bill, I have to like really over pronounce the app. Cause I always think people here always just to see what I'm saying, Nashville anyway, Asheville in North Carolina. I went there for business event back in 2017 and I fell in love with that place.

(11:27):

I absolutely fell in love with Nashville. And I would, I would like to say that that event opened me up to some possibility. I got very misguided for a while, but I think it was the first time if I'd known to listen to my intuition, I think she would have guided me in a really great place, but I didn't listen to her, but it was the first time I realized I was, I could be more than the stories I was telling myself that I actually had important stuff to say, and that people actually wanted to listen. It was really fascinating. And many of you listening may we may have, actually, that was probably the first time we met. I have many friends and even clients who I met for the first time at that, that business event. And I fell in love with that city.

(12:19):

It was so amazing. And there's always been something since then or if wanted to host an events. I say a tree. I don't know if it would be a retreat, but I've wanted to host something very similar for myself, for myself, but for my business. And I was talking to my coach just recently about 2021. And I said, look, if we're allowed to, if I can, you know, if we can travel again and all that kind of good stuff, I want to host my first event, retreat, whatever you want to call it. And I'm actually, I said to her, you know what, I'm going to host it in Nashville, Nashville, Tennessee. Because I've never been. And I mean, if I'm going to host an outdoor event, like where else would you host it? So maybe Austin, Texas, that would be the place to host it anyway.

(13:14):

But that is very much on my hearts. And if I can pull it together in 2021, I'll be really happy. I'm thinking the full of 20, 21 probably late September into October. That would be a good time. Stay tuned. I've put it out into the universe. So let's see what happens. But no, I didn't achieve that, but it's still saying I want to do, Oh, this, this next one makes me laugh so much to unpack, go to the gym three times a week, even when I'm busy. Like, I mean, I just, I don't get excited about that tool. So many years my health, I think even to some degree, my weights has been this like nagging priority, like nagging thing that I feel like I have to prioritize in my intentions, all my goals for the new year, even when it's really not been that exciting.

(14:19):

And just recently when I was unwell, it was really interesting because I'm still trying to like unpack some of it, but like I got sick and I couldn't eat, I lost my appetite completely, which I never do. And it was almost as if this like weird thing happened to my body where, and also I think mentally where I just started a fresh, like, I don't believe in fresh thoughts and things, but it was like as if something happened and it was just like, it needed this, it needed to stop and slow down. And basically when I started to feel better and started to get my appetite back, well I wanted to eat was vegetables and fruit. And I'm like, wow, that's not telling me that I was deficient in vitamins and minerals. But it's just kind of carried on and I feel like I'm making really great decisions around my health.

(15:17):

I'm still making sure that I get my breasts because I still feel really tired. And I'm making sure that I'm looking after myself and that doesn't mean following that frickin rules. I'm so over forcing myself to do things because I think I should like, and I don't mean not moving my body right. When I feel capable of going for a longer walk and, you know, prancing around and my conservatory to a dance video or whatever, then I will. But I don't feel like I can right now between wearing a mosque and still like coughing and just trying to like recover. It's it's, I'm taking my time. I'm being kind to myself in the meantime, I'm learning these other great habits and I'm really channeling or I'm being really intentional and other ways. And yeah, this is probably the first time in a long time, probably five years that I'm going into a new year without this like, desire to manipulate my body or just, yeah, I'm just like going with the flow, going with the flow.

(16:41):

Okay. Oh, okay. I was, I nearly missed one. So this one says welcome 100 new members. So obviously that's into my membership and it's funny because I wrote the question Mark next to it and then put why. And I knew I was like calling myself out on my. Why, why? Because I don't know why, why, because doesn't that seem like what everyone tries to do when they start a membership. I'm actually planning an episode for early January where I'm going to talk about membership models because I've had a membership since 20, 2018. And I have some thoughts around the membership model and it will become clear in the episode, but yeah, a hundred new members. No, like I've written why, and I don't know really why, but what I do know is that that's not, that's not my truth. I don't want to have a hundred.

(17:38):

I don't want to have to try and facilitate a hundred people in a group that feels like a lot of a lot. It feels like a lot of energy on my part. And as an introvert and as someone wants to be available for people, I can't be available for a hundred people at once. So I didn't do that probably because I didn't really want to, if I, if I really wanted to, it probably would've happened. The next one is create and sell a planet. Let me tell you, creating and selling a planner is it's a similar journey to this podcast, which brings me hope. Cause I got here eventually creating and selling a planet is very similar to this podcast. I have wanted to do it for awhile. I have known I'm not ready. Right. I've had many ideas about what that planner could look like.

(18:33):

I've even like created some myself and Canva and had my husband print them and then they've just not felt right. So incidentally, I do actually have an idea for a planner that may well come to life in 2021. So didn't do it cause it wasn't the right time. And I, I do generally believe that I wasn't ready. It wasn't the right time. It will happen when it needs to happen if it's supposed to and I would like to do it, but I have a really great idea for one of the moments. So that may come your way in 2021. Okay. This next one is to write a song. I had a stupid smile on my face cause I feel like, so that feels really uncomfortable to say that out loud, to write a song, I actually started a song I'm not about to read it to you or sing it to you cause it's quite personal.

(19:30):

But it's in the back of this journal. I actually started it last December. So yeah, we can take that one off that did happen. Okay. We're getting into some more kind of feelings and things. Land, hand lettering. I started that. I haven't done it in ages. Truth be told, but I did start to, and I did buy like the pens and a couple of books off Amazon and I'm just really loved that kind of stuff. It feels very relaxing to me. So I may, I may do some of the Christmas, but yeah. I haven't picked up in a while. Oh, this one is like super vulnerable Len how to manage my fist and how to manage my fears. Well, like I literally just got chills saying out loud learn how to manage my fears. I think that's very complex.

(20:29):

Did I manage to learn? Did I manage to learn? Did I learn to manage them yes. To a certain degree. Did my fears change exponentially this year? A hundred percent? I think when I took about my fist I ha I suffered with health anxiety. So I, I can panic at the smallest thing. Well, what many other people may consider to be, you know, very small thing or something that can be rationalized. My brain goes into this like irrational train of thought and panics and goes to kind of West case scenario. And there is a story behind why that happens. I'm not going to share it on this episode and his wife, because I think it is an episode in of itself. And it's probably an episode. It's an episode. An independent episode is also an episode that requires a trigger warning because it could be very triggering for some people.

(21:32):

And I don't want to just suddenly spring it in the middle of this episode. So I will record an episode about it. When I feel ready, honestly, there's a lot of that coming up right when I feel ready, but managing my fears, especially my health anxiety. That was a really, I'm going to talk about that. Cause that was a really interesting thing. The shift, and I've talked about this on Instagram. It's like my health anxiety. I've always, I felt quite alone by managing what, dealing with it on my own. It feels very lonely because you know, when you took her health anxiety, that's one thing. But when you talk about it in the sense of like hypochondria, I think people quite judgy about that because to people who are able, who don't have that particular fear,

(22:24):

No,

(22:52):

They don't understand it. And you know, that's the same for all of it, right? It's about being willing and able to understand, or at least empathize with things that we don't struggle with ourselves. So my journey of how things are, it has felt very lonely and I'm very fortunate to have people in my life who were able to help me work through it. And there is, you know, I've, I've used meditation to help me through it. And that's been really supportive. Then this year happened 2020. And I suddenly didn't feel so alone because with the global pandemic happening, the entire world was experiencing this thing.

(23:47):

And it was so much bigger than me. And everyone, especially in the beginning, I feel like no so much later on in the year, but especially in the beginning, a lot of people were afraid. A lot of people where we couldn't see it, we didn't know what it looked like. You know, we didn't, we, we were so new, there was so much rubbish out there. So many myths. And so selfishly I wasn't alone anymore. Right? Selfishly I wasn't alone. Everyone was freaking out. Everyone was panicking. Everyone had this anxiety around this illness. And

(24:54):

[Inaudible],

(24:55):

I suddenly felt anxious about the pandemic. But it was really different. It was a really different feeling and it was really odd. And, and I think throughout this year, I have been surprised by myself. I've been, I've surprised myself in the way in which I was able to manage these fears and, and manage those things. So, you know, yes I did, but it also looks very different than my, I definitely learn how to manage them, but this whole year has taught me a lot of taught me a lot about myself. It's taught a lot, taught me a lot about how I need to look after myself in various ways.

(25:42):

Okay. So the next one, this is, this should have another one of those things where it says like why and a question Mark next to it, but make $30,000 in my business. I'm surprised by that. I feel I'm surprised that was such a like realistic income girl. I I'm guessing, I don't know why it's in dollars cause I live in the UK, but I'm guessing I have probably hit that goal. So when I talked to a couple of episodes ago, about six figure businesses, you know, that's what I mean, I'm not, I made five figures this year. I'm not a six figure business and it's okay. It's great. It's fine. I love my business the way it is. Okay. Be debt free. Yeah, that one. Not so much. Again now again though, there's those big, those big investments I made early on in my business for coaching, I'm still paying them off.

(26:40):

Right. Isn't that great compensation. I've been in business five years and they're still coaching investments. I'm paying off. It's crazy. Start a podcast. Well, we know I did that. We know we can take that one off. That definitely happened. Oh my coach would be so proud of this one. Ashley, if you are listening, lean into the joy and experience my life fully I'm really surprised by myself writing that lean into the joy and experience my life fully. That feels, that feels like something I would right now. It doesn't feel like something I would have written. I mean I did, but it doesn't feel like something I would have written a year ago. And especially because what I've learned this year is I didn't really know what my joy, it looked like. I didn't know what being joyful looked like in my life or felt like I didn't know how to lean into my joy.

(27:49):

And I actually had been working on that for a few months now. And I have discovered like little places of joy. I'm saying in my office, I have this sofa in the corner of my office. And you're like getting super cozy and just like lighting my candles and my salt rock lamp and putting the radio on like that is my joy playing a TA. I know that is joyful. I just need to actually get round to doing it. Drawing hand lettering. Like so many of these things I wrote down on here are actually part of my joy. And then I haven't actually leaned into it this year. And I get why I know that it's because homeschool, pandemic, lack of schedule and routine, not having any real time to myself for many months. Like I'm a real I'm. I can be kind of extroverted, I think in certain situations, but I am an introvert.

(28:48):

I am an introvert. And so for a long time, I didn't have that time to myself to just kind of sit quietly, even just having people in the house. It was like, I just, I know that, that I know that there I can't be alone. And I certainly take that for me, took that for granted before. And I'm now very, I'm able to lean into that joy. I'm able to have gratitude for that, but yeah, leaning into my joy. It's really funny because that is something I've been working on now. And it's been something I am starting to realize where my joy comes from, how it's actually available to me every single day, you know, going and walking to this coffee shop in my village and getting a coffee if I want to like having that choice and has been the hottest thing this year is just like a lack of choice. I don't really go out, but I had a choice if I could go out. And that's, that's

(29:42):

Those things

(29:43):

Just being able to choose and, and do some things that you really love, but you can make those choices all the time. Right? You could choose to be joyful. It's available to us most of the time. We just don't see it because we're super busy. We're too busy and we're so focused on what we have to do rather than asking ourselves what we need and what you want from our day or a week. I like sometimes we have to just get on with it. Right. Sometimes we just have to buckle up, get on with it and do the things that we need to be doing.

(30:14):

Yeah.

(30:15):

All of these things, if there's one thing I would pass on to you, like try to, if you don't know, figure out what your joy is, like, figure out what brings you joy and how you can do a little bit of every day. And then experience my life Philly, you know, in the strangest possible way. I feel like that happened this year. And that sounds crazy. I know, but I do feel like I got to live my life fully. I just think it looked very different. You know, I think it was living my life fully at home with my family, living my life fully In a very different way. And that's okay. We've all learnt stuff. And so I do feel like that kind of happened. I feel like that is part of my 2020. It just looks different because I think what's so important is carrying forward into the next year. And as things start to change the fact that I can live my life fully, even if I'm not traveling because a huge part of the beginning, part of that list was about traveling was about not being in my home and being in other parts of the us. And

(31:29):

Yeah,

(31:33):

One is that you can live your life. You can experience your life fully without traveling. You could experience your life fully being at home with your loved ones. And even in the most difficult times, like you learn to adapt and evolve. So

(31:47):

Yeah,

(31:49):

Flex hip, I think this, I hope that this has been really fun for you guys to go through this. It was definitely fun for me. 

(31:58):

And you know, with regards to,

(32:03):

Let's talk about this, right? In relation to goals, because this whole episode has been about things I didn't achieve. And there was a lot of goals that I set for this year that I haven't achieved. And many of them are for obvious reasons out of my control.

(32:20):

I actually think a lot of the things I didn't achieve,

(32:25):

I'm really

(32:26):

Honest. I bet I wouldn't have achieved them, even if COVID hadn't happened. And that's really hard to look at it and say, you know, I wrote down all these things that I said I wanted to do. Yeah.

(32:37):

Would I have actually achieved if COVID

(32:40):

Hadn't happened? Who knows? But as you're looking at this year and you're reflecting and deciding what energy you want to take into 2021 and what you want to leave behind, you know, just remember the reflecting back is not a bad thing. Looking back this year, looking at the good, the bad, everything in between the silver linings and the things you didn't achieve. Like it's okay. It's okay that we don't achieve our goals. It's okay. That we don't get to tick things off. Like it's honestly. Okay. And you can try again next year, if you really want to, like, that's also really important, you know, looking at those things that you didn't do this year and saying, do I actually want to do that next year? You know, do, do I think that is feasible realistic? Do I think it's possible? Can you know, is it something that's still important to me really important, right.

(33:45):

Those are really important questions to ask us. I was like, do I still care enough about this to put it on my list for next year or put it on my, my vision board or however it is, you set your intentions and goals. I'm really excited to look at 2021. I do have big plans, as I said, next week's episode, scary, but I'm going to be doing in 2021. And as we are heading into this holiday season, I know it kind of always looks a little bit different for us, for me and my family. It's kind of it's this like week of slight boredom. So I know that I'm going to be spending this time, probably hand lettering, maybe practicing guitar. I'm going to do all those things. I haven't done this year in the next week. So technically I can check them off, but I'm going to be doing a lot of those things.

(34:40):

Why? Because I have the time and here's the thing. It's not the lesson that we need to take, like make the time for the things that bring us joy. And yeah. And I'll be getting ready for 20, 21, the big things I want to be doing in my business. I'm going to be sharing with those with you in next week's episode. And like, some of them have to do with this podcast. And I've already mentioned some of them in today's episode. So I'm really excited. And I cannot wait to share that with you next week. If this week you're taking some time to reflect, come over to Instagram, say hello, come into my DMS, come and look at the posts. We're going to be talking about goals. We didn't achieve all over the next week on Instagram. So come over and say, hi, and let's talk about the things you do achieve. Like let's celebrate the things, but didn't achieve. And let's be really honest with ourselves about whether we want to do it next year. Okay. Happy holidays. I hope you have a wonderful break over the next couple of weeks if you are celebrating or not. And I will see you next week on new year's Eve for another episode. And some scary though. We're gonna, we're gonna create in 2021, have a great holiday season guys, and I will speak to you very, very soon.