[Lose Weight or Accept your Size] Are these your only two choices?

I haven’t always loved my body, in fact I’ve spent more of my life disliking myself, but I am at peace with myself – I love my body damn it!

Yet I have goals I want to slay, I want to build strength, get fitter and healthier – but does that mean I have to dislike body right now?

Do I have to hate and shame myself to make changes?

 

Or can I come from a place of love, gratitude and self-acceptance so that I create a lifestyle and body which works in harmony, instead of constantly battling?

I’ve lived in this ‘fat loss bubble’ for about four years, and I’ve slowly moved away from the idea that I need to ‘suck it up or suck it in’. I’ve shed the diet myths, and baggage which have held me back – but every so often something appears in my social media time line that slaps me back to the real world.

The real world where we are asking for the secret to weight loss, and multi-million dollar companies are praying on our insecurities. Promising you that they have the secret, but that you must really want it to succeed.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been watching as women I admire within the industry have been sharing their take on body image. I’ve read each post, felt inspired and in awe, I took this photo of myself but didn’t want to just post it without having really thought about the message which I want to share.

I want to see the message of body confidence thrive, I want to see women posting their body with confidence and positivity. However, it’s also not my job or intent to tell you your desire to lose weight isn’t a good enough reason.

 

It’s not your goal, but it is the restrictive nature of weight loss which I have an issue with. It is the repetition of dieting. The shame, guilt and tears that so often come along for the ride.

 

I have spent most of my life battling with my image, even as a child, a young girl who hadn’t even hit puberty, I didn’t feel attractive. I cried when I watched TV programs, where the girls were ‘perfect’ and got the guys. This was the message these shows had fed me.

I labelled myself from a young age, I’m an ‘overweight-carb-loving-apple-shape’ and I had been shown that perfection was none of these things!

 

Now I believe in #effperfect because I spent so many years trying to strive for perfection: the perfect body, life, diet and workout. 

 

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It was exhausting, and what I learnt is that perfection isn’t real. Perfection has been created to get us to buy more stuff, more diets and products, so that we continue to invest in something that continually changes.

I’m over this idea that you only have TWO choices, to either:

  • Lose weight because you are unhappy with how you look, or
  • Fully accept your size, and therefore don’t ever attempt to make a change or improve your body

 

Why can’t you love your body and still want to improve how it looks?

Creating this idea that it’s an either/or lifestyle keeps us playing small, prevents us from succeeding, taking action and actually living our lives to the fullest. It keeps us dreaming small, and believing that love, happiness and success is only for a few people.

So whilst you don’t need to wait for perfection, you can learn to love your body for everything it does right now whilst wanting to make improvements.

No one should be telling you otherwise, and no one should be telling you how healthy should look on your body.

We are all different, we have different goals, lifestyles, abilities and therefore what healthy looks like will be different for each of us.

I’ve asked myself this question repeatedly:

Can I really call myself a Fat Loss Coach when my BMI says I’m overweight? blog_image2

Yes, because health is subjective.

The idea that we must all be a certain size to be healthy is false, whilst our weight can impact our health, so can various other factors. Establishing a healthy relationship with both your body, movement and food doesn’t mean you need to be a certain size.

As I said earlier in this post I have been watching as more and more women are posting their flawless body on social media, creating a movement which shows that we are all beautiful in our own skin.

I love my body right now and I will love it in the future – no matter it’s size or shape. It has been good to me, and I haven’t always treated it with the respect it deserves.

 

I used to believe that I struggled was because I didn’t want it ‘bad enough’ that I was lazy and didn’t have the motivation to work-myself-thin.

Do you have to be fully invested, 100% in nutrition and workouts to be healthy?

 Or is it just that you’ve been told if you really want something you must live an ‘all or nothing’ lifestyle?

Living ‘all or nothing’ is dangerous, it perpetuates this idea that you have to either be all in or completely off. What’s wrong with making a better choice each day?

Let me tell you my friend, you do want it bad enough, but you’ve been led to believe that the moment you struggle is also the end. What does ‘wanting it bad enough’ look like anyway?

Obsession? blog_image

Shame?

Guilt?

Fear?

You can want something without it having to entirely consume you, because when you understand WHY you want something, you can see the path in front of you.

When you have misled and told that there is only ONE goal, it’s very difficult to feel passion and excitement. Instead you are battling your willpower and living a world of ‘shoulds’:

“I should want to be a size X”

“I should want to work-out at 5am”

“I should be eating this salad”
Stop shoulding all over yourself, and instead get clear on what YOU want and WHY, because when you’ve figured this sh*t out – god help the person who tells you that you don’t want it bad enough.

 

“Freedom is realising you have a choice” T. F. Hodge

 

 

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