On Monday I sent out an email to my VIP’s and I shared some very honest thoughts and insights into not only my own weight loss struggles but also the way I used to think. How I used to believe all slim people had it easier than me, how I used to act like I didn’t want to be healthier…or slimmer.
You might be surprised to know what I didn’t talk about food…exercise or calories…instead I asked them to consider:
Why is it not okay to be yourself?
In my teens and early twenties I wanted to fit in, and as far as I was concerned my weight was the one thing that held me back. It prevented me from having a boyfriend, it prevented me from wearing cute clothes my girlfriends could wear – it prevented me from being successful. It never occurred to me that my weight was actually a shield, an excuse I made to not have be myself.
I could hide behind my weight.
My personality, my upbringing, my quirks – they haven’t changed – but I’m less afraid of being authentically myself. I’m less afraid to be honest with the people in my life. I show up as I am, I no longer hide behind my weight or my size. For a period of time I hid behind my weight loss success, I bought into the idea that I had “made it” because I was slim. I finally felt like I had earned the right to loved, to start living.
I started living when I stopped hiding.
I’m living the life I had always dreamt of, but to get here I had to take a lot of action. I had to deal with some very raw and emotional struggles – I had to figure out why I overeat, why I struggled for so many years.
I had to realise that it is okay to be myself, and whilst not everyone will agree with me, it’s absolutely okay to be vulnerable. In fact what i’ve learnt is that vulnerability is not shameful, it is a very real part of life.
This week I spent some time considering this quote:
You are not for everyone, and that’s okay.
The world is full of people who, no matter what you do, will point blank not like you. But it is also filled with people who will love you fiercely. You are not for everyone, and that’s okay.
Talk to the people who can hear you. Don’t waste your precious time and gifts trying to convince them of your value, they wont ever want what you’re selling. Don’t convince them to walk alongside you. You’ll be wasting both your tie and theirs and will inflict unnecessary wounds, which will take precious time to heal.
You are not for them and they are not for you; politely wave them on, and continue along your way. Sharing you path with someone is a sacred gift; don’t cheaper your gift by facing yours in the wrong direction. Keep facing your true north.”
As you “drive people away” you only get closer to your ideal people. Those who love you, who want to be close to you, who truly love, are one step closer.
Each person who criticises your ideas ad business draws you closer to your idea clients. Each friend that walks away draws you closer to the people who share your beliefs and passions.
Being disliked by some is simply a byproduct of being authentic to who you are truly are.
The more you embody your true persona, the more incompatible people will pull away from you.
That’s okay, because at the same time, the more you adopt your true self, the more likeminded people you’ll draw toward you.
You are not for everyone, and that’s not just okay, that’s amazing.
In this weeks video I am sharing some thoughts I have on being yourself, how this plays into the way we think, feel and act. It’s a slightly different video, so feedback is more than welcome!
0.44 – how [me] being an introvert stems from being an only child
2.05 – what I missed out on as an only child
3.48 – what bothers me in the health and fitness industry
4.32 – why dieting failed me despite my lack of focus
6.46 – how I believe you lose weight long-term
7.26 – what changed for me
8.03 – why is that at some point we get fed up with dieting?
8.36 – what resonates with you?