How to coach yourself to MCF!

I hear from women all the time who are struggling to eat right, get to the gym and achieve their goals. They feel like they lack motivation, can’t be consistent and get angry with themselves for just.not.focusing!

Motivation is similar to willpower you don’t lose it, but the amount you have will be related to how much or little you are trying to do.

Motivation, consistency and focus are directly related to what you do today. Not where you want to be in twelve months time, because you do not know what will happen in twelve months, therefore focusing on the now is how you will be successful [even in twelve months time]. The reason we struggle with motivation, is because we are trying to fit our already busy, routine, structured lives into a diet plan. Instead of trying to change what we already have going on that is not doing us any service!

Over the past six years I have lost sixty pounds and kept that weight off. So how have I sustained motivation, consistency and focus? I haven’t, I have worked hard on it. Some days, weeks or months have been much tougher than others – but the work I put in has ultimately led me back to the same place. Here. I always remember my bigger reasons why I want to learn, become healthier and happier.

Not just for myself, but I want to teach other women that this exists, without misery.

Here’s how you can start to coach yourself to feel more motivated, consistent and focused…

Find Your Why

I firmly believe one of the reasons some people have more success with fat loss, is because they have a bigger reason why! When I started out in 2010, my reason was my upcoming wedding – after I got married, I felt like I didn’t have a reason to continue. I became lazy, and stopped focusing on working hard, of course the pounds started to creep back on – until I stopped and realised not only had I worked too hard to allow this to happen, but that I wanted to be a healthy mum. BOOM! My bigger reason ‘why’ was back in the forefront of my mind!

Now, the caveat to this is that short-term reasons are just that, and losing fat for a wedding/holiday etc whilst important to some – it’s not really my game. I coach women who want to lose fat, lose their diet shackles and be healthier – forever.

So here is how to find your why…

  • Dig deep, besides ‘being healthy’ why do you really want to lose fat? How do you envision your life being different? What would change about your present/future?
  • Find your reason why and then work backwards – how are you going to get there? Who is this person? How do they act? How do they treat themselves and others? What is their drive?
  • Write this shit down, and read it to yourself and make sure you understand and believe this about yourself!
  • If you start to question your reasons, check it, are they still valid or have circumstances changed? There is no shame is changing your mind.
  • Each time you start to feel frustrated, go back to your reason why.

Your reason why should be something you are driven and passionate about. It should inspire you, drive you to be better and remind you of what you want and why you started. This is why some shorter term reasons [think holiday] don’t always cut it – I can’t get that passionate about 7 – 14 days. Life makes me passionate, this will keep you motivated.

Positivity to Hustle

Before you roll your eyes at the word ‘positivity’ let me remind you that successful people [in any realm] don’t sit around whingeing, wishing and hoping life will hand them a new _____. Successful people hustle, they work hard and they get shit done, even when they don’t know what will happen – or they know 100% what will happen, then they work their ass off to achieve said ‘thing’.

Fat loss is the same. You cannot lose fat, love your body, build self-confidence or change your ‘diet mindset’ without hard work. It’s just that simple. 

You know it requires work, because you have tried before, and it has been ‘work’ – but you have probably been overworked/working against yourself. We start to think that ‘healthier’ people don’t have to work hard for their goals or body – it’s just not true. Healthy folks work hard, but they don’t sit around complaining about it! The positivity and hustle keep you consistent. 

Start Acting

This is one of the best bits of advice I have ever had – start acting like the person you want to be. We think that we can only be a healthy person, once we have lost X amount of pounds, or started eating “clean” [I hate that word] or never struggle or don’t have to think about food again.

You won’t always struggle, but you will always be aware of your past and how you got from A to Z – you will remember the struggles and believing that fat loss will change who you are will let you down. These struggles will keep you motivated, they will remind you of your hard work.

Fat loss doesn’t change who you are, YOU change who you are – so do that now! Take your reason why and run with it, be that person, you have taken the time to figure out who that person is – so why can’t you be that person now?

I am still considered ‘overweight’ but I don’t act like someone who is unhealthy/overweight/unhappy. I act with integrity and passion – I tell people my story and come from a place of authenticity, I share my tips and knowledge with anyone who is willing to listen. I act like I am the best damn fat loss coach in town! Why? That’s who I am going to be! I am so confident in my ability to take women from A – B and so forth that I want people to know what I have learnt. It’s not arrogance, it is passion and it is about acting the way you see yourself.

Rest & Relaxation

If you sort your stress out, then your diet will follow.

Over the past two years I have come to realise how much self-created stress has impacted my life. How many times I clench my jaw in frustration because of my 9-5 or when Greyson won’t stand still for just 20 seconds! Boy, it’s so not worth it! So I made it part of my 2016 mission to stop creating so much stress in my life. I wanted to be aware when something has made me angry or upset – and take time to work out where the emotion is coming from.

How did I add R&R into my lifestyle?

  • I started to read everyday. I know this sounds crazy because many of you probably already read all the time and love it. Great, keep doing that. I didn’t read [books] for years, so the fact that I have read 3 books in 6 months is a huge win for me!
  • I made sleep a priority. Of course having a toddler means I potentially get less sleep and my sleep is on someone elses’ schedule – but I used to complain about it and not take action! Now when I start to feel burnt out – I get an early night – or I work more the night before and sleep in. I ask for help when I need it. I read before bed [see it helps in TWO areas], I mediatate and my caffeine fix finishes at 3pm! Take action and adapt, don’t complain if you are not willing to make the changes.
  • Be more self-aware. So I have touched on this already, but I wanted to be more aware of what causes me to feel upset, angry, ‘stressed’, and causes me to react rather than listen. Becoming a mother has shown me levels of anxiety and tolerance I didn’t know existed, and at times I still struggle. Instead of letting this control me, I dug real deep and discovered why I have this ‘need’ to be in control. Fascinating stuff. If you think you need a lot of work on this – therapy has worked wonders for me, don’t be ashamed of it.
  • Walk. Don’t underestimate the power of simple movements like walking. I can hold my hand up and say I do not walk enough. Do not feel because somone you know says running is the best thing, you should do it. Walking is amazing, and people who don’t do it daily struggle to introduce it! Walking lowers cortisol levels, in turn lowering the risk of cravings.

The 24 hours to Success

Setting goals is great, but set honest and realistic ones.

If you want to lose weight, instead of focusing on the end result, break it down. How am I going to achieve this? What do I need to do first?

I personally don’t like setting ‘number’ related goals, because it encourages an unhealthy relationship with the scale. Instead I ask you think about each day as an opportunity for success!

What can you do today to get you closer to your goal? Did the choice/action reflect that of the person you said you want to be or your bigger reasons why?

Get your focus aligned with your reality, and the best way to do this is stop questioning when you will arrive at destination HEALTHY. 

Health is not a destination, it is a process. A process which allows you to be successful everyday.

Everyday is an opportunity to make changes, become more successful and look after your health – guess what – you are already there, you’ve just got to open your eyes and mind.

My last bit of advice is ‘Give yourself a break!’

Sure I want you to be successful, heck I want to be successful too, but burn out is a very real thing. I mentioned R&R earlier in this blog and it really is important to listen to your body when it is telling you ‘hey girl we need to slow down a little’. As I sit here and type this, I can tell you I didn’t hear my body as I charged back into my workouts from a week off. I am now run down, feeling tired, achey and blah. I’m not complaining, but I am showing you how easy it can be to miss the signs. When you feel like you are running around on empty, you probably are and instead of feeling guilty or like you are less of woman/wife/mother for it – take some time out. Go to bed, have a bath, whatever it takes to make you feel relaxed. It will still be here waiting for you tomorrow!

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