So we hear all about ‘haters’ and ‘online trolls’ (I hate the word troll) but what about the real people in our lives who really aren’t supporting us? Why don’t we have the same attitude to them, why don’t we call them out for being negative or not believing in us when they are supposed to be our biggest supporters?
When you make a decision to change something monumental in your life whether it’s to lose weight or a career change everyone is incredibly supportive…at the beginning.
Don’t get me wrong there are the people who have your back through everything, but then there are the people who start to lose interest.
You start to hear things like ‘you don’t want to lose too much weight, you’ll look ill…’ or ‘that’s not going to take off, you don’t know what you are doing…’
What then happens? We start to question our own choices, we start believing their negativity, we start listening to other peoples insecurities and make them our own!
Who the hell cares what they think? If we have made a decision to create a better, healthier more fulfilling life for ourselves why on earth are we listening to other people? #DoYou
Let me tell you a story about a friend of mine. We met in high school aged fifteen and initially we hated each other, i’m not even sure why, but over time we became good friends and ultimately the best of friends. We were sixteen and getting ready to leave high school, we went to the gym and swimming after school together and we ‘dieted’ together. She was taller than me and I always wished I had her figure.
Over the next ten years we kept in touch, we both got married, moved home lost and gained weight but our friendship always came back to the same thing…exercise and diets. I chased to be in her life, she would disappear from mine for months at a time.
Fast forward to 2012 and I was knee deep in my weight loss journey, feeling amazing and again hadn’t heard from her in months, we met for a coffee. We stood in the queue of the coffee shop and she told me ‘I’m no longer drinking coffee, its really bad for you, you shouldn’t drink coffee, you will gain all that weight back…’
At that moment I knew I was done.
Each time she reached out to me, she apologised for being a rubbish friend and would tell me all about her life, never asking about mine. Yes, I allowed this to go on for years, and I am responsible for that, but our friendship appeared to be based on fad diets and the same sh*t we were dealing with at sixteen.
You see we hold onto people in our lives because we feel we ‘need’ them, not realising that when we are around them we actually start to doubt and question ourselves. It is really difficult to make a choice to remove negative people from your life, and now I have a select group of friends who I can count on and who I know will support me when life gets tough.