As I put my Bayside Tigers sweater on I thought about how I had wished I could be like Kelly Kapowski from a young age. It didn’t matter that she was just a character in a TV show, I wanted to have her body, her looks, her perfect hair and I hoped high school would be just as a ‘easy’ for me. Over two decades later and I can see things differently, high school was not ‘easy’ in fact they weren’t ‘the best years of my life’ as everyone reassured me they would be.
As a young girl I already felt like I wasn’t ‘good enough’ and I don’t know I can blame television for that, but somehow I believed body size and looks were important. Not more important than my mind, but that if I wanted to be liked, then I needed to look a certain way. Unfortunately when I reached high school the fears I had were reality. Certain girls appeared to pass by wearing a skirt which was too short, or heels which were too high, even make up. Those girls were the ones who were ‘popular’, they were athletic, always team captain in sport class and they appeared to run the show.
I spent time trying to change who I was just so that I could fit in, and be seen as ‘cool’. I was the girl the day before a ‘non uniform’ day wishing I had a better figure because I wanted to look good. I was the girl picked last in sports class.
Isn’t this just bullshit?
We all go through those difficult teen years, having to learn the hard way, but ultimately all these situations were irrelevant. They have no bearing on me now as an adult, other than to tell a story of why I am the woman you see in front of you.
So this morning I pulled on my Bayside Tigers sweater and thought what has Kelly Kapowski got that I haven’t? I have my body, the body I work hard for, I have good hair, it’s long and thick and I am living the life I want, not the life I think I should be living.
We can continue heading down this route if we choose to, constantly comparing ourselves to others, or we can stop and take a minute to look at what we have. You don’t have to be thankful for what you have, but instead of wishing it looked differently, you can start taking action to make your dreams a reality.
What’s holding you back?
What do you want to do instead?
How can you get there?
What can you do today, to take action towards your future?
If you feel ‘stuck’ in any realm of your life, then you need establish why you are stuck, what do you want, and how will you achieve it.
This is one of those occasions when change is all on you.